Weird Kid Gift Guide – 2018

So my loves are getting older. Developing tastes and preferences. Little tiny bite sized personalities and let me tell you, these children are not your average.
All counted, I’ve got seven nieces and nephews. And not a single one of them is boring.

So I’ve compiled a gift guide, to ensure thorough spoiling during winter holidays or for birthdays because it’s important to know that even if the kids in your life are unpredictable, the look on their faces when they open their gifts shouldn’t be.

  1. The Youtube Girl – Okay, I’m starting off strong here. This is a archetype of kid that I guess has always existed but has only just recently found a true sense of belonging in the world, thanks to YouTube. If you’ve got a kid in the fam that loves shouting ‘Rainbows! Hearts!’ instead of just saying ‘Good Morning’, here’s the plan for under a hundy. You’re gonna take yourself to Claire’s. You are going to fill up a basket with unicorns, rainbow hair extensions, glitter nail polish, cat ear headbands and bath bombs (if that’s age appropriate) and of course, you gotta get that name brand JoJo Siwa Bow Swag! I was pleasantly surprised at how affordable these actually were. They are $10 a pop and well made and very big. Now, don’t for a second think you are done. You also need a box. A beautiful one. To pack all of these gifts into. Because stockings are dead folks. We unboxing now. The cherry on top of this gift is getting the kiddo hyped to be recorded opening their gift for the first  time while you film it and then immediately post it to the family facebook.
  2. The Micro Foodie – Honestly, I could not be more proud of my tiniest nephew James. Despite being the youngest, he’s built like an absolute brick wall because that boy loves to eat. He’s going to be a cook like his Auntie Di, I decided. I look forward to reading the dedication he writes for me in the front of his first New York Times best selling Cook Book. I’m getting distracted. To nurture that spark in a child of your own heart, here are some ideas. Greasy Spoon, Take Out, and Level Up. Now say, for the past three years, people have been getting this hungry little gremlin nothing but food toys and now the house is positively over run and you’ve got Melissa and Dough TM wooden ants? The fridge pictures above is 4 feet tall, is amazing for storage and the price including tax and shipping frequently dips below 100.
  3. Natural Birth – if you know a special little somebody who was born at home, you might be stuck on what to get them. But don’t worry. These kids are the easiest to gift for. If they are being raised by some truly Crunchy Granola Parents , there is most likely a fantastic emphasis in their household on time spent together and experiences over material things. Take your baby sitting shtick on the road and take this kid out! ‘Bye Mom! Aunt Di is taking me to a museum.’ or ‘Aunt Di is taking me to the petting zoo’. Honestly, Charlotte isn’t even born yet and I’m basically already scheduling day dates with her.
  4. Diva – The diva is intrinsically different from the YouTube Girl. She doesn’t consume content. She is content.  This child has been bopping to Drake since the womb and she discovered Kpop all on her own. Literally her Spotify playlists are epic. There is a huge variety of karaoke toys for kids on amazon, but! Your best bet would be to get one that is, with the help of a parent, attached to actual music. You don’t know Amelia, but believe me when I tell you, that she’s a bit beyond Itsy Bitsy Spider.
  5. The Oldest – This one can be a problem. He’s used to getting whatever he wants because he was an only child for a little while. He’s the OG and he may expect you to treat him as such. Do not trifle this little King with surprises. Take him to a computer, sit him down in front of Amazon, and ask him which toys he would like. He knows his way around his own brain. If he’s scary intelligent like my oldest nephew, he won’t just say yes to everything, (if he does, they might be too young for this activity). For a young kid in today’s world, this is the equivalent of window shopping. And don’t act like this will ruin him. We used to go to stores and see things we liked and say, ‘Mommy can I have it?’ and they either told you ‘Maybe Santa will bring it’, or they flat out told you yes or no. This is no different. And it’s a good bonding experience. I don’t necessarily think its an ideal parent/child situation, but for an Auntie, it’s perfect.
  6. The Genius – Oh my sweet sweet Bradley. You are so much smarter than everyone one else I know. You once called your mom out for faking a phone conversation with the Easter Bunny because you’ve understood the Doppler Effect, if not in words than in spirit, since you were three years old. Now I need to show you I love you with gifts that challenge your giant brain but don’t make it obvious to your peers that you are above them. Classics are the best here. Legos are always a winner, not necessarily sets either. The Lego Store lets you fill up containers with random pieces for a flat fee so Boy Wonder can just build by the quart. You also enjoy the internet so I think we’ll do an un-boxing video with you too. Remote controlled toys that bring your favorite video games to life are always awesome and this old fave of mine, might just be able to keep you entertained.

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